Starting Over

I’m a sucker for a great success story.  So much so that if I’m watching one on TV or reading about it in a book, its not uncommon for my children to ask, “Daddy, are you crying?”  It just grips my heart!  But let me clarify.  I’m not talking about the ones that portray the story as smooth sailing.  Not the ones where someone is squashing people on their way to the top.  No, I’m partial to the ones that start with a dream, and then comes……

struggle

pain

surrender

self-awareness

lessons learned

reinvention

and then……

the dream and the dreamer start over.  Start fresh.  And they make everything and everyone around them better because the focus is no longer inward but outward.  And ultimately, their impact on the world becomes greater than they originally thought possible.

Woo!  Gives me chills just thinking about it.

How about you?

Do you and your dream need a restart?

I do.

The last several years have brought some gut-wrenching and heartbreaking circumstances for me and my family.  And while we certainly wish some things had gone differently, we have chosen NOT to become a victim of circumstance.  Instead, we chose to embrace where we are and learn.  Therefore we have become wiser as a couple, family, and as individuals.  It’s time to start over.

So I’ll ask again.  Do you and your dream need a restart?

Most importantly I want you to know and accept the fact that starting over doesn’t mean you’re a failure.

Here’s an excellent book to help get you started – “Plan B” by Pete Wilson.

I hope I shed some tears while watching or reading about YOUR success story someday.

What Distracts You From REALLY Living?

What “justified” distraction is keeping you from REALLY living?

I wish I could tell you that every morning starts out like it did today–kicked back with a cup of Dunkin Donuts coffee and one of the many books I’m reading.  Yes, even working from home doesn’t mean I automatically take advantage of the early morning peace and quiet of our family room, AND the comfy over-sized chair.  Nope!  I’m usually right out of bed writing or answering emails, and working on the details of my latest project.  But I’m happy to say this morning was different.

My book of choice today was, “Walking with God”, by John Eldredge.  I’m about half-way through this book, and John is talking about how crazy his life has become.  He primarily speaks of the fast pace he/we try and keep.  He calls it, Purposeful Distraction.  John explains it like this:

Every age has a certain spirit or mood to it.  Ours is busyness.  What begins as a creative outburst is now just Get It Done!  Seriously, I’m irritated that my email takes four seconds to download when it used to take ten.   For some reason we feel we can’t stop this pace or we just don’t want to.  Till then, the life of not living but getting things done has its benefits.  For one it provides us with an illusion of security – I am tackling life, I am staying on top of things.  We might not be so honest as to say, ‘God doesn’t seem particularly involved in taking care of these things for me so I have to do it’.  Then there is the wonderful quality of the endless distraction it provides – purposeful distraction.  I don’t have to face myself or God because I am so very busy.  And the bonus is, I don’t have to feel guilty because ‘this is just the way it is’, and by golly, at least I am showing that I’m a responsible person by getting things done.  Thus I can avoid any real disruption while feeling the victim of circumstances beyond my control. Is this really ‘living’? If we really wanted to live differently, there would be some sign of it in our choices.

You know its funny – I’ve read stuff like this before.  But what struck me this morning was the realization that what John is talking about in this segment never ends.  It’s always in front of us no matter what day, month, year or decade we’re living in.  Now, does this mean that we completely abandon our vocational responsibilities?  Of course not.  What it does mean is that we as individuals, and as families, have to first determine, “What does really living mean and what purposeful distraction has become our excuse?”

What do you think?  I’d love to hear from you.

Who are you?

I’m sitting in the concierge lounge of the San Diego Marriott Hotel & Marina.  I have an incredible view of the water, boats, and cliffs hovering above the Pacific Ocean.  What a treat!

Rarely has our family taken a Spring Break vacation.  In fact since the birth of our children, now ten and thirteen, we’ve only taken about five,  including the one we are on right now.  Sure I’ve been somewhat jealous of families who have the means to religiously vacation during this time each year.  But honestly, we are more thankful and appreciative when these opportunities are less frequent.  My heart swells when I see my kids expressing hearts of gratitude to people who are serving them at a restaurant or providing transportation to and from the hotel or allowing others to get on an elevator before them.

On the flip-side, it grieves me to watch people treat such opportunities with what seems to be a sense of entitlement.

Which brings me to the subject of this post.  Who are you?  It never ceases to amaze me how much you can tell about a person while traveling.  Are you thankful for the people who serve you at the hotel or on the airplane?  If so, do you thank them?  Do you tip them?  My hope is that you’re a person who shows gratitude instead of someone who believes they’re entitled.

I’m Coming Back

Ever get to that point where you’re just at the end of yourself?  That place where the stuff we think we can count on in this world (job,skills, education, financial resources, self-reliance, people) has been stripped away?  And we literally, and sometimes figuratively drop to our knees, throw our hands in the air as if to say, “God! What do you want from me?!”  Well, I’m there.  But don’t worry, this blog will not have a “Debbie Downer-ish” tone.

This past weekend our church resurrected an older worship tune that I had not heard in a long time.  It so penetrated this worn and wounded heart, giving me a much needed message of purpose, hope, and affirmation of what I believe is important.  My wife, Emily, happened to be on our worship team that morning.  And the added bonus came in the form of her sweet gentle voice leading out on this song:

when the music fades
all is stripped away
and i simply come
longing just to bring
something that’s of worth
that will bless your heart

i’ll bring you more than a song
for a song in itself
is not what you have required
you search much deeper within
through the way things appear
you’re looking into my heart

i’m coming back to the heart of worship….

 

Dream On!

Dreams.  I love hearing/reading stories about dreams.  I’m particularly drawn to the stories of dreams coming to fruition later in life when the “odds” are against them.

Jimmy Morris.  His story is the subject of one of my favorite films, The Rookie.  Jimmy’s dream was to play baseball in the big leagues.  Growing up he struggled to gain validation of his love for baseball from his military father.  The family moved frequently and finally settled in a small Texas town where baseball was almost nonexistent.  The odds were against him.  Although Jimmy was drafted by the New York Yankees, he never quite made it to the majors due to an injury to his throwing arm.  So he retired early and became a teacher and baseball coach at the local high school.

Loved by his players, Jimmy agreed to a bet that if his team won State,  he would try out for the majors.  The team won State.  So after much hard work battling his demons and getting the blessing of his family, Jimmy Morris tried out and was signed by the Tampa Bay Devil Rays at the age of 35.  In baseball years, THAT’S OLD!

And while the dream didn’t play out quite like Jimmy originally planned back in his prime, it was the support and belief of those around him that led to the dream being fulfilled.

I too have a dream.  In fact I’ve had my dream for a while.  And just like Jimmy Morris, I almost gave up because of fear, self-doubt, and time.  But surrounding myself with people I love and respect, and who believe in me, a moment of clarity hit and I’m back on track with more passion and drive than ever before.

What’s your dream?  Have you given up on it?  Don’t!  Your dream just might be the answer and hope that someone else needs.

We Are Better Together

I grew up a child of divorce.  Not one, but two.  I didn’t handle it very well.  I was lonely most of my teenage years and would befriend anyone, even if it meant participating in “harmful activities”, which I did.  At the time I couldn’t necessarily identify the problem.  I was just, well, LOST!

When I was 19 I met the love, grace, and mercy of Jesus.  Had no idea what that meant, but I liked it, and I wanted it.

The added bonus came in the form of meeting Emily.  We will celebrate 20 years of marriage this November.  Emily was and is unlike any girl I have ever known, and without a doubt an extension of Christ.  Clearly she was a gift from God and we knew pretty quick that we wanted to be married.  Most of our dates consisted of sitting and talking (still do).  Not chit-chat.  I’m talking deep, honest, “I trust you”, kind of talks.  It didn’t take long for us to realize that we had similar passions and goals.  Particularly as it related to our relationship with Christ.  We wanted more than just “church talk.”  We wanted to KNOW HIM!

We have two amazing children, Jackson(12) & Riley(10).  I remember being extremely nervous about being a dad.  I was definitely excited.  Just didn’t have anything to draw from that gave me the confidence I needed to enter this fathering adventure.  And on top of that, Jackson was diagnosed with Aspergers Syndrome.  Sometimes that meant “all hands on deck” just to help him get through an overwhelmingly stressful situation at school or home.

We have both had jobs where we’ve had to do some traveling.  In fact I’m writing this from my hotel room in Baton Rouge, LA.  We don’t like being apart but we “hold down the fort” for each other when one of us has to be away.  Thankfully we have been extremely blessed to mainly work from home.  I know alot of couples can’t do it.  But we love it!

So just like any married couple we have faced many different circumstances.  Some hard and some not so hard.  We’ve experienced great joy and great heartache.  But regardless of what we face in life one thing is true – we are better when we’re together!

I believe the same is true in our relationship with Christ.